Read about kinds of alcoholic beverages here! Alcohol, or ethanol in chemistry (CH3CH2OH), is one of the most common depressants of the central nervous system. The reason its use is so widespread is on one hand because it is cheap, and on the other because it produces a sense of happiness and freedom of expression when used wisely. This sense of well-being induced by the various kinds of alcoholic beverages, is because they directly affect those centers in the brain that are triggered when we make a judgment, and alcohol specifically causes a loss of inhibition. That is the reason why when you go to a bar and order a catalog, there are so many kinds of alcoholic beverages to choose from. After having seen so many catalogues in my guys nights-out, I have devised my own taxonomy of the kinds of alcoholic beverages, each one specifically classified to meet certain needs.
The ‘play-it-safe’ kind of alcoholic beverages: beer is the only beverage that belongs to this category. Low percentage of alcohol, yet not a girly beverage, and a great variety of options: brown beers, black beers, blonde, or even red beers; you can simply have your beer the way you like your woman, or is it the other way around? In any case, a guy can benefit from ordering a beer in two ways: he can both appear masculine (since it is a man’s drink), and also keep his cool (since beer is low on alcohol) and get the woman that he likes drunk. Of course, if anyone has ever seen an Irish guy holding in his hands something that looks more like a barrel rather than a glass of beer, one need not be surprised if things did not end up so smooth for him.
The ‘macho-man’ category of alcoholic beverages is comprised of vodkas and whiskeys. Nothing else says ‘I can go all the way’ than a true Russian vodka and no other drink says ‘I am patient enough and I love savoring the moment’ than a fifteen-year-distilled whiskey. Therefore, all you need to do is simply suit up, order the macho-drink you like most, and be that masculine guy women always love flirting with.
Wine on the hand forms a category that runs separately from all other kinds of alcoholic beverages. This is what I call the ‘elegant’ drink. Highly expensive, refine taste, and most importantly elegance. Or it could be a cheap wine, which tastes like crap, but as long as you keep the elegant part alive and pretend enjoying every drop of it, no one will ever know the truth. In addition, wine gives you the opportunity of using your little finger when taking a sip, in order to pinpoint which girl you actually like and let her know of your intentions.
The last of the four kinds of alcoholic beverages in this taxonomy are ‘the girly’ beverages: daiquiris, margaritas, manhattans, and generally any kind of colorful cocktail. One and only rule applies to this category: never order a cocktail, if you are looking to hook up with a woman; just let women order them. Women drink not because they enjoy the various kinds of alcoholic beverages, but for stylistic reasons. That’s why the cocktail that a woman is most likely to order, is the one matching her dress.